J is for…Ju know what?… This is boring. Let’s talk about Penis Envy….

Hi World,

No, it’s not another voice coming through, just me being an ass.

I had forgotten how boring the alphabet can actually be with this letter having to follow that letter, following that letter….and so on…

I prefer shuffle mode.

My friend Chester read my last post and commented that Freud would call it Penis Envy.

I agree.  Then again, wouldn’t Freud call everything penis envy?  Wouldn’t he think that my preference for peanut butter over jelly indicates a raging case of peanut envy?

I mean Penis Envy.

It is pretty obvious to me that Freud had a penis and liked it quite a lot, yet there is no mainstream psychological theory out there recording penis overattachment. All you Psych residents looking to make a name for yourselves, here is your opportunity;  forget Jung, forget Skinner. Start a whole new trend. I’m pretty sure there are more people like Freud out there who love their penis (overly) and are sure that everyone wishes they had one.  I envy them, actually.  I wish I loved my vagina half as much.  I probably would if I could see it.  Maybe that is the secret.  God, I’m so deep:-) 

But I digress.

Before I can go any further, I really need you to go back and listen to this Dar Williams song that I linked to on the CCTR in my last post.  I suspect that most of you didn’t but it was important.  It was, in retrospect, the whole point of the post. 

Go ahead.  I’ll wait here.  With my long necked Corona bottle.  Obviously a phallic symbol.

You’re back already?  Are you sure you listened?  To the whole song?

I liked to do the things that boys did; climb trees, get dirty, play ball, run around without a shirt, make a go-cart, shoot a bow and arrow. But even then, I knew that it wouldn’t last forever because, regardless of how I felt about it, I was going to grow up and become a woman.  My post was about those sweet, brief, prepubescent years when you were old enough to get out from under your parents’ thumbs for a little while and have an adventure or two, but were still young enough to just be a child as opposed to a young woman or a young man, and before the pressure of middle school made you choose a side and stay there. It was about the days when your best friend might be someone of the opposite sex and when you said, “______ is my best friend”, you meant it in an entirely sincere and innocent way, different from the way you might also later describe your boyfriend/girlfriend as being your best friend.

I think it is interesting that evolution has brought us to a place where it can sometimes be difficult to tell the boys from the girls.  Could it be that God is trying to tell us something?  Or could it be that evolution is taking over?  Should Government answer this question, or the Church?   Or the scientists? This is not a post about homosexuality Vs heterosexuality or whether man evolved from apes or was created by God.  I don’t deal with those heady issues. I just think that as the race progresses, maybe the survival of the race depends on women and men coming together and using their individual (as a gender) strengths to further the species.  And that being said, it seems to me that maybe our species is becoming a bit more androgynous.  Whether it is through nurture or nature, who knows, but I’m all for it.  And that is not just my penis envy talking.

Did you intuit from this post that maybe I am afraid aliens are on the way to take over the world?  Because, yes, that is one of my fears.  And they are totally androgynous, so we need to be ready.

May the force be with you.

Chicken out

  9 comments for “J is for…Ju know what?… This is boring. Let’s talk about Penis Envy….

  1. April 13, 2010 at 7:36 am

    And who was analysing Freud because in my opinion he sure needed it…

    If Aliens come to take over the world Chicken, theyre going to blow us all into space dust so dont worry.


  2. Anonymous
    April 13, 2010 at 11:40 am

    Sorry Chicken, can't comment, as I must get to my therapist to discuss my ever-increasing irrational fear of pancakes and now aliens. Thanks.



  3. April 13, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    I bet Freud would say that our fears of Aliens coming to take over their world are an obvious carry over from our dreams…..You know ….those dreams of Aliens and their large penises (is that correct for plural of penis)…I just realized that I never had the opportunity to use that as a plural. Huh.


  4. April 13, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Mrs. P. That is a good point. I'm going to make a tinfoil hat today just in case.

    CB-Your therapist is just going to tell you that your flapjack/alien fears are due to your penis envy so save yourself the $50 bucks and we can go out for drinks.

    Bry-yes, I think Freud would say that, and probably also that it is due to sexual frustration that we dream these dreams. Is it Peni? hmmmm


  5. Anonymous
    April 13, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    Hey, chook. You know, that song (and the singer's name) sounded like one of those country songs that are sentimental and sappy and engineered to make drunks cry, so I skipped it. But I trust you, oh hip chicken, not to steer me wrong musically, so when nagged, I went back and checked it out. And I cried. (a little. I'm not drunk.) Because I was a boy, too. And I wish we were best friends when we were 10. Because I totally, TOTALLY would have rocked a loincloth with you.


  6. April 13, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Hey GG, I saw her at the Newport Folk Festival some years back and love her. Go on YouTube and look for one by her called, “The Babysitter's Here”, and also “Christians and Pagans”. And “Idaho” is one of my all time favorite songs. That Chickie has a way with words. Now I want to go listen to them all again. Well, we didn't have loincloths in the woods, but at least we had Art class:-)


  7. April 13, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    I mean Iowa:-)


  8. Anonymous
    April 13, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    wow chick. thats some deep shit. when the aliens come I'm going to vermont. I love pancakes. Even one with scary happy faces. Maine would ba good place to go to get away from aliens because who wants to go to maine. Lower case typing is so much easier than typing cpaitals and who cares about the spellin any way. the alfabit is so confining. the long neck does not resemble a penis at all. it just easyer to hold on to. weel that all i got to say about that. peace out ya'll


  9. April 13, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    Anonymous, you do a great alphabet shuffle:-) But don't knock Maine lest the Maine Militia be knocking at your door while the aliens are still locating the right crop circle. You are probably better off taking your chances with the aliens. Who, I am thinking, will totally love Vermont for landing and satellite capability.


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