In Which Little Miss Chicken Sits on a Tuffet

Assuming a tuffet could resemble a big, ugly office chair.

You can probably guess where this is going…..

Good morning, World.

littleb and I were up early this morning, still spouting our Apple, Hey….Apple nonsense and driving BigB insane so he banished us downstairs.

littleb promptly found a rerun of Max and Ruby and I decided to watch more Annoying Orange episodes.

I was having a grand old time when I sensed movement to my right.

I glanced over.  And saw this:

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERHELLLLLLPPP

Have I ever mentioned that I hate spiders? 

Well, I do.  They are totally rude. 

I should add this story to Sad Adolescent Chicken Stories.  I had forgotten about it. When I was young but way to old to be sucking my thumb and desperate to stop, I somehow convinced myself that every time I sucked my thumb I would see a spider.  And it worked.  Mostly because I secretly sucked my thumb quite a bit and it was summer, so there were a lot of spiders around. 

And now I’m thinking that perhaps Someone is trying to tell me to quit with the Annoying Orange routine.  It was funny the first time.  It was less funny at 6 a.m..

Well.  Do you know what I have to say to Someone?????

Apple.

Hey…..Apple.  Apple.  Hey.

Spider.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSPIDERSPIDERSPIDER…….

But Seriously.  Check out this one. Plumpkin

We have a great day planned here at the coop.  littleb, R and I are heading over to the Bear’s den for the annual folk festival, and then BigB and I are going out tonight.  Alone.  For the first time since 2007.  We’re going to a Mark Knopfler concert.  I’m often Mark in my Rockstar fantasies.

Hope you have a great day, too, World.

Chicken out

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  10 comments for “In Which Little Miss Chicken Sits on a Tuffet

  1. May 1, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    I also hate spiders. I woke up this morning (as if in a nod to this blog) with a spider on the ceiling just above my head. First thing I did, close my mouth and cover my nose. Second thing I did, elbowed my husband in the arm to get up and kill it. Third thing, jumped out of bed and ran like the wind. Stupid spiders.

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  2. May 1, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    I know. Not only are they more annoying than orange, they are also ugly and scary.

    Like

  3. May 1, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I often date Mark Knopfler in my fantasies.

    I'll come over and kill your spiders. I am not afraid. I've had too many shoved down the back of my shirt from my 3 tortuous big brothers. You grow immune after time.

    Have fun tonight.

    Like

  4. Anonymous
    May 1, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Plumpkin was littleJ's favorite. We do not like spiders either. NC is lousy with Black Widow spiders–if you catch one alive, you can bring it to Greer Labs here in town, and they will give you 35 bucks…I can think of much better ways to make 35 bucks–some even legal. 😉

    CB

    Like

  5. May 1, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    Hi Joann. Oh yikes. And you live where there are big ones, too.

    CB-Wow, $35 is a lot of money for a spider. I wouldn't give 2 cents for one. And I wouldn't take $100 from you to adopt your spider, either. Particularly a lethal one!

    Like

  6. May 1, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    I've never met a more annoying Orange. One look was enough.I'm so grateful Little P is too young to know it exists.

    Now onto spiders…Mr. P remained in our shower alcove once for 70 minutes while the water ran cold because a BIG huntsman had decided to sit on the inside of the shower screen near the door. He had to wait until his housemate got home to rescue him…every time he tells this story the spider grows bigger. It is now the size of our house in re-tellings. And dont tell him I told you this story because he has a rep for being big and tough.

    Like

  7. May 2, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Hi Mrs. P. I had to go look up huntsman spiders before I could comment. Naturally, I got the “educational” youtube video. I'm sorry. I can't move to Australia with you. I can't move anywhere that has giant spiders whose NATURAL habitat is cars and houses. I wouldn't last a week. Mr. P, there is no shame in statying in a cold shower when the option is walking past a giant spider.

    Like

  8. May 2, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    oh man! I just saw the annoying orange for the first time, posted it on my facebook and people actually got MAD! it was worth it. heh
    spiders are attractede to thumbsuckers. its a scientific fact.

    ANyway, i came through here after you left a comment on Dee's interview page thing. I used to have a chicken…so couldnt resist checking the site out. =P buckaaawwwk

    Like

  9. May 2, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Chicken! I love hearing from your coop! Do you still have those ways of stopping habits you should not have? That's powerful!!!!

    Like

  10. May 2, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    Hi Seafood Punch. Thanks for stopping in and I look forward to following your blog once I find out how come you do not have a chicken anymore. Yikes….

    BB-do you mean my awesome mental powers that allow me to convince myself of almost anything that I think it would be convenient to think? Well, it's one of those use it or lose it powers. I've got a lot of bad habits, though, so I recently brushed it off and started using it again. For the powers of good, of course.

    Like

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