I’ve shopped at the same grocery store almost every week for the past 15 years. Some of the people who work there have been around at least that long.
Two who have been there at least as long as I’ve shopped there are a mother and son duo. I’ve become fond of them. We are used to one another, and I like talking to them. Neither one has a filter, which makes for some interesting conversation, here and there.
Today, as I bagged my own groceries, in my own reusable bags, the Mom of my favorite duo sidled up, and begian to assist. “Do you mind if I put this stuff in plastic?” she asked, “Because that way it won’t get squished.” I was pretty sure she didn’t want to be bothered with the awkward reusable bags.
“That’s okay”, I said, “You can put it in the reusable bags. They make unloading the car easier when I get home.”
“Okay, yeah, this will keep it all from getting squished.”, she said, continuing to pile things into plastic bags.
I grabbed my reusable bags, and began piling groceries into them, in a race to see how many plastic bags I could limit her to.
“You know, I was thinking”, she said, “about an idea I had for if I ever won the millions of bucks, or the lotto bucks,or whatever they call them. I was thinking about what I’d do.”
Well. Now we were talking. I was intrigued. “What would you do?”, I asked.
“It’s just an idea, but I was thinking, wouldn’t it be fun to run down the row of stuff that’s all glass and knock it off the shelf. Just knock everything off, so it all smashes on the floor.”
“But why?”, I asked. “They say living well is the best revenge. Why would you care about your old job once you win all that money?”
“Because it would be funny. Don’t you think? Just watching all that glass smash all over the floor?”
“Oh, I get it.”, I say, “You would smash it all, just for the pleasure of making it smash, and then pay for it all and for someone else to clean it? Someone who isn’t you?”
“No. Why would I do that when I’ve got all that money? I’d move, maybe to Maine, and change my phone number.”
“Well”, interjected the cashier, while I was still processing Mom’s response, “Do you know what I’d do?”
“No, what would you do?” both the Mom and I asked at the same time.
“I’d wait until three weeks before Thanksgiving and then give my two-week notice!”
“Oh, that’s nice”, I said, “That you would give a two-week notice. Not a lot of people are that conscientious.”
“Well”, said the cashier, “Maybe I’d wait until the Superbowl, and not give any notice at all.”
“Why the hell would you keep working here when you have all that money?” demanded Mom.
“Maybe I’d go back to school”, he said. “Learn about something I really want to do.”
“I’d just go do whatever I wanted.” retorted Mom.
On the way out, I passed Shawn, the son half of the dynamic duo. I wish that I had thought to ask him what he would do first if he won the lottery. I have heard that he rides his bike to and from work each day, even in snow storms. I drive off hoping Shawn and his mom do win the lottery, even if it does mean a temporary shortage of pickles after the celebratory glass smashing.
What would you do if you won the “millions o’bucks, lotto or whatever”?