Fashion is a Two-Faced Bitch: Dress Down Friday

Casual Fridays got you down?  Are you tired of khakis, crisp white shirts and blazers, but not sure where that thin line lies between relaxed and professional?  Never fear, my lambs; Chicken is here to guide you with a carefully curated collection of relaxed Friday looks.

A helpful tip:  Ideally, your Friday look should say something about your personality, interests, and how you might be spending your upcoming weekend.

For example:

Vivienne Westwood:
This is a perfect Friday look for a stodgy, conservative environment like Wall Street or JP Morgan.  This look says, “Yes, I’m managing hedge funds right now, but later I will be hunting pheasant at my country manor or perhaps spanking a naughty Scottish banker.”

Next up Philli Wood:
Who doesn’t like a cozy cable knit in a cheery color?  This look says, “Later, I’ll be playing the part of the large intestine in our local community theater group’s production of  The Magic School Bus:  Digestion.”

Gilles Mendel:
Do you work in a start-up environment?  Here’s your Friday ensemble!  This look says, “Tonight I will drink absinthe, write a dark poem about League of Legends, troll neighborhood pubs, and consume an unsuspecting biology major.”

Anna Sui:
This look says, “I love butterflies and trees and Orlando Bloom.  Later I’m going to sit on my couch with my five cats and watch all three Chronicles of Narnia movies. Again.  And then I’m going  to plant a tree and maybe paint a pentagram on my living room floor.  And, also, I love Johnny Depp.

Monclerre Gamme Bleu:
Here’s one for you men in the audience. Striking the right balance in any work environment, this look says, “I live in France because I’m cool like that and I like plaid. You should like plaid, too. Because I like plaid.  Later, I’ll get drunk and pontificate on a variety of subjects.”

This fabulous Friday look says, “First, I’ll take out Batman and his annoying little sidekick, then I’ll make a video with Snoop Dog.”

Kate Spade:
“Later I’ll be attending a Stepford Wives reunion.”

Marc Jacobs:
“Would you like to buy a Dalmatian? I have 101 of them in my trunk.”

Have a great weekend, friends!

Chicken out

  23 comments for “Fashion is a Two-Faced Bitch: Dress Down Friday

  1. October 18, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    LOL! You are a strangely funny chick, and I love you.

    I actually choked on my coffee at “…perhaps spanking a naughty Scottish banker” — and it just got better and better.


    p.s. OK, weird segue, but you asked how much time I spend on my posts. Answer: anywhere between 45 minutes and two hours. Some come pretty fast, and others drag. Funny thing, though, is that when you get a chance to go back and read them — which I rarely do because I”m writing every damn day! — you really can't tell the difference between the ones that were “hard” to write and the ones that came easily…

    Keep it up, Chick-Chick. YOU are funny.


  2. October 18, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    You pretty much hit each one on the head.

    Pearls right, You are funny.


  3. October 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    I'm wearing wrinkled skinny jeans with a hole in the inner thigh. You're right– this says a lot about my personality and what I will be doing this weekend.


  4. October 18, 2013 at 4:35 pm

    That cable-knit intestine really scares me. Great take on high fashion. I would hate to have to model that stuff; it would be hard to keep a straight face.

    I agree with Pearl and Simply 🙂


  5. October 18, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    My fear of heights would kick in if I wore the shoes in #1. You are so much better at this than Joan Rivers…


  6. October 18, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    I agree with the others that you are very, very funny. All your comments are spot on. I do find some of these fashions downright scary though. The intestines are even a bit disgusting.


  7. October 19, 2013 at 2:03 am

    What a creative person you are, but I think the Tea Party will have to do without me. 🙂


  8. October 19, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    Sorry about the coffee, Pearl. That happens to me a lot.


  9. October 19, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Thanks SS. Everybody is funny in their own unique way. Even Bill Gates. Not sure why I'm picking on him but he just seems very serious.


  10. October 19, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Hmmm…you'll be shopping for new jeans? Ironing? I suspect neither of these things?


  11. October 19, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    Hi Jenny-that's because it could eat you and no one would ever know where you went. There'd just be a pile of pink knitting lying across a coffee shop chair, and some unsuspecting person would come along, say, “oh look, a warm, fuzzy sweater.” and just like that, the intestine sweater has found its next meal. Cable knit intestine sweaters feed bi-weekly, from what I've heard.


  12. October 19, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    Aw, Shelly, thank you. I haven't heard Joan talk about fashion but I'm guessing she's pretty good at it.


  13. October 19, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    And I would get vertigo in those shoes, too! Made worse by all that plaid.


  14. October 19, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    HI Cheryl, The intestine sweater was done by a college student in fashion school so I feel a bit mean trashing it but…it truly is a little scary and disgusting. But I'm old, so I could be completely off base. As we speak, hordes of tweeners could be raiding American Eagle looking for just such a sweater.


  15. October 19, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    Hi AC. Thanks, yes, the Tea Party will have to do without a lot of us but they are too self-involved to even notice, so no worries. The funny thing is that after looking at that picture again, I realized that the red, white and blue painted on his cheeks is the French Flag. Talk about self-involved. Show me red, white, and blue, and I'm going to make certain cultural assumptions. OH well.


  16. dbs
    October 20, 2013 at 5:00 am

    That shit pretty much cray.


  17. October 20, 2013 at 5:17 am

    DBS. Cray indeed!


  18. October 20, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    Could we just all get together and try this stuff on for fun? Do you think they make all of these in a size 10? The cable knit is probably one size fits all.


  19. October 20, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    Wow, Kerry, that is an excellent idea! We could do a virtual fashion show. The cable knit is probably the only thing that will fit any of us. It could be like the story of the traveling pants, only substituting large intestines sweater for pants.


  20. October 21, 2013 at 2:24 am

    I was thinking about a tutu and a scuba mask for next Friday


  21. October 21, 2013 at 2:27 am

    Ragemichelle. I say yes! But only if you don't wear the snorkel with the mask. Hard to drink chardonnay with a snorkel in your mouth


  22. October 21, 2013 at 4:12 am

    Amazing! Especially like the 1st, Vivienne Westwood, outfit. It's a bagpipe you can WEAR. And, yes, add the naughty banker and you complete it with percussion followed by chanter and drone. But can she march doing that?


  23. October 21, 2013 at 11:45 pm

    Geo, she doesn't need to March. she has a naughty banker to ride!


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