I apologize for Chicken’s absence. She is….on vacation.
This is your Guru, Gin Tumm! I’ll be guest posting this morning.
I’m here today representing all of the designers and stylists you know, love and trust, as well as future designers, stylists, and fashion icons you have yet to meet. And Hollywood. And reality stars, too. What the hell. They spend a lot of money.
The thing is, Global Fashionista audience, you have been misled. You have been lied to. We will not permit ourselves, and our small inclusive world, to be maligned by this dowdy, snarky, misinformed Chicken person. Clothes don’t talk, people. They are not making fun of you. Fashion loves you. You and your money.
We’ve seized this blog today to deliver the Good News. The Truth! There is only one Queen and her name is Fashion. Defy her rule at your own expense. For in her house are many labels. If it were not so, we would have told you. We go there to find the perfect label for you.
But only if you stop reading this Chicken smut.
You should be angry, Dear Readers, that Chicken has led you down this dangerous path of defiance. Did you learn nothing from the People of Wal-mart? Do you not know what happens to the unfashionable among us? How they are ostracized and deemed irrelevant? How their photos are taken anonymously only to be tweeted, blogged, emailed, you-tubed, instagrammed, and pinterested to infinity?
Sure, those sweat pants, the ones with the hole in the thigh, are super comfortable, and that stretched out hoodie is warm on a cold morning, but do you really want your backside to end up in a magazine in four color graphics under the DON’T column? Well? Do you? Or worse yet, on some anonymous blog that goes viral until you eventually get forwarded an unfortunate photo of yourself in pajamas, leaning over in the aisle comparing cat food brands?
What does the Fox say now, aye?
The Fox should be saying, “Shit. I’m going to buy a Marc Jacobs suit pronto and lose this stupid Fox outfit.
And you, Dear Readers, should do what the Fox said.
Yipp Yippp yiupppppp yippppp!!!
Gin Tumm out
This message brought to you by the ILGWU
|Poor fashion choices, People. Don’t let this happen to you.|