We moved into the living room and Phil put on a mix tape. In the middle of it there was this one song. You know the song. It might be a different song for you, but it is the song that makes you stop what you are doing and ask, “Who is this?”.
They finally decided that it must be Barbara Keith singing Detroit or Buffalo. Long story short, Phil gifted us the mix tape, which also included several favorite Van Morrison songs.
We listened to that tape on the drive home, through the pouring rain, and then I appropriated it for the yellow Plymouth I drove most often. I hit reverse on the one song over and over again.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that my marriage was on a decline, heading toward a canyon, and perhaps this song resonated with me for that reason.
When you divorce someone you break your childrens’ hearts and split all your possessions. It’s never pleasant, regardless of how civil you both try to be, but you prepare yourself for it. What hits you by surprise sometimes is the splitting of friendships. They were his friends first. Naturally, he got them in the divorce. I wouldn’t have expected any less, but I missed them. I missed her, with her tree-hugging goodness and nurturing spirit. I missed him, with his killer wit and sharp mind. I missed them together and I missed us together, with our girls, just hanging out over a weekend, living large in a small frame. When one of my girls told me they had divorced years later, I was sad. I, maybe you, have those couples that stand for marriage in my mind. They are the ones you know will never break the bond; you don’t even think of that happening with them. In my life, I’ve had two. One couple is still together, one is not. Fifty percent of my role models stayed together.
Tonight, when I typed in Barbara Keith on YouTube, I wasn’t really expecting anything to come up, but there it was. The magic of music is amazing to me. It will take you back in an instant. I’m listening and hitting repeat. I’m missing those friends of mine.
I won’t insist you listen, but if you are interested, here it is:
Who do you miss?