Did you make any? What are they? Do you anticipate keeping them? Have you ever kept a single resolution you’ve made?
I make half-assed resolutions which go something like this: I, Chicken, will henceforth eat less, drink less, exercise more, and be a better relative. Usually these statements are more emotional and follow several glasses of champagne. Also, important to note, they are silent resolutions, made after the midnight kisses, lights out, and just before the final curtain falls on my inebriated consciousness
Which is handy, because it allows me to forget them by 11 AM when we go to brunch, eat cheesy egg things, drink Bloody Mary specials and bicker with the relatives before returning home for a long afternoon nap.
Anyway, moving on.
This year, I decided to make some actual resolutions; resolutions that will improve my life, well being, and increasingly complex mood.
In 2014 I vow to…..
1. Be comfortable. If it is not comfortable, I’m not wearing it. Good-bye leopard print stilettos, hello kitten heels.
2. Stop watching paranormal investigation shows. Why are they all so stupid? I like paranormal things. It’s a hobby of mine. But I can’t watch one more over-dramatization of an orb or a shadow. Except for the RI Show. They are the real thing.
3. Be hobby-free. If it’s a hobby it’s not for me. If you don’t know me, I am sure you know someone like me. I’m the person who has a new passion ever few months and all the bells and whistles to go with it. Jewelry making, linoleum block printing, egg carving, rug weaving, ethnic mask construction, Wiccan fashion design, artisan glass door knobs….what do you like? I have a starter kit for it. If you are just like me and need some hobby supplies, come to my garage sale.
4. Give up on the garage sale I’ve been vowing to hold for the last five years. I hate garage sales. I’m taking away this pressure in 2014. If you need some hobby supplies, just email me. We’ll work something out. Unless Bravo calls me and asks to film a reality show about my future garage sale which will become my new hobby, and will most likely end in court because even with contractual obligations, I’m not sure I’m up to it.
5. Rent a dumpster. I don’t think Bravo is going to call me.
Wishing all of you out there a happy and productive 2014.
Chicken out
Chicken's Consigliere 
Instructive. Midnight. I resolve to have another drink and no further resolutions come to mind. Best wishes for 2014!
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Thanks, Geo. Same to you! You are a resolution artiste. One and done.
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Great video…I am now inspired to set some resolutions. I, too resolve to put the correct shoes on the correct feet and lose the receipts from any and all major purchases. I can not, however, resolve to wax my chest.
I think that is a great resolution not to take on new hobbies. I might be able to add a bit (OK..a bunch…plus some) of deserted hobby supplies to your future garage sale.
Here is to a Happy New Year where we embrace the things we are not.
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Beautifully put, Cheryl. And I'm ok with the hobby supplies, thanks anyways. Are you, by chance, planning a garage sale this year?
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Excellent resolutions 🙂
A couple of years ago I read about choosing a one or two word idea for the year, such as “fun”, “learn”, “activity”, “health”, etc. instead of more detailed resolutions. I actually did remember mine for a few months, as opposed to a few minutes. Maybe I need to try again. Usually I'm just happy to get through the holidays without going crazy.
Bravo might call. Your garage sale intentions are a heckuva lot more interesting that what they usually have on there!
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Last year I resolved to put 10% of every paycheck into a savings account before I paid anything else. I had about a 75% success rate. I'm calling that a win and quitting while I'm ahead. Happy New Year!
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I resolve to install doors on my mancave to completely shut out the bitchyness beginning to brew in the house.
Maybe just changing the locks and renting that dumpster you mentioned would be easier.
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Great resolutions. Just don't go the pajama pant route on the comfort thing. You may find they are too binding and then what? Happy New Year, Chicken!
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Excellent advice. Never before considered setting resolutions that can easily be met….
• I will not vote republican this year
• I will not intentionally eat mayonnaise
• I will not watch Dancing with the Stars
• I will eat popcorn whenever I want…..
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Hi Jenny-you have to read in Jayne's World New Years post (you can link from her comment below if you do not know her). Her post allowed three words. I won't spoil her resolution but it was a good one. I'm a little slow, so the one word one might work better for me. My word is “comfort”. Thank you for the tip-I love it1
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Wow, Jayne, that's a good one. And I think 75% is a great success rate! Happy New Year:-)
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SS now now, it's just post-holiday stress. Things will calm down, no need to completely retreat although, seriously, if I had a man cave, I would want doors on it so I could practice my karaoke skill without an audience.
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Oh, then pajama skirts with elastic waist bands, that's what. XO to you Betty:-)
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Oh Geezers you are mind kind of blog friend. I vow not to watch one single football or baseball game, I will consume more chocolate and red wine, gain weight and blog less.
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Re. #3: if blogging is a hobby, disregard this resolution of yours. 🙂
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