Independence Day – Letting Go

My husband and I were having a discussion one day.  I told him about a problem I was having.  As soon as I laid out my problem, he began  trying to solve it. That’s what we are wired to do,  I think, is solve problems.  I remember saying to him, “I don’t need you  to solve this, I just need you to listen!”

Of course, as a parent, it’s totally different.  I must solve each and every problem my children present.   It’s called being a good parent.  
My oldest finished college in January and is currently job hunting.  It’s been a frustrating experience and not as expedient as she assumed it would be.  She’s learned humility and patience.  I’ve learned to step back.  
Way the hell back.  Like, look behind you.  See that mountain?  No?  That’s perfect.  That’s just about far enough.  
It’s the hardest thing, to support and help without fixing.  I’m  sure there’s a trick to it.  If I live long enough, maybe I’ll add it to my bag.  For now, I’m just very lucky that we communicate mostly by text.  It allows me to offer suggestions, which I then erase and replace with, “I’m so sorry.  That stinks”, or other equally short, supportive statements.
She doesn’t need me to fix this.  She can fix this.  She just needs me to listen.

  4 comments for “Independence Day – Letting Go

  1. July 7, 2014 at 3:49 am

    Damn, you sound like a good parent.

    -Doug in Oakland


  2. July 7, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    Hah! I did the same thing, but emailing 🙂

    Eventually I found that a good balance was to be listeningAND also making suggestions from time to time. But just not all the time. And now and then I still ask my kids if I'm being too involved or not enough. Because I just don't know, sometimes. Being a parent is hard.


  3. July 7, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    Hi Doug-thanks for your visit and the comment. I'm happy if I sound good on paper. I'm not that good, though. Thus the angst:-)


  4. July 7, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    Yes, I'm trying to find that balance, too. Asking would be a good idea. I should try that. Sometimes, it just doesn't occur to me to ask.


Your turn...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Hamlets & Hyperspace

Sci Fi & Fantasy Book Reviews

Haven Kimmel's Blog

All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. -- James Thurber

Stories I've Never Told...

(...and some I have)

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

Book 'Em, Jan O

Ghosts, Tall Tales & Witty Haiku!

Filosofa's Word

Cogito Ergo Sum

Delight In Your Garden

and in all places and things

Freethinkers Anonymous

It's another story.


Come for the laughs, stay for the lunacy

Gin & Lemonade

...with a twist

Patrick Tillett

One chicken. So many roads.

jenny's lark

the beauty of an ordinary life

Momentum of Jo

Spirituality, Reality, & Everything In Between

A Word Of Substance

"Object Relations"


A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Memoir Notes

a blog for memoir writers

Wishbone Soup Cures Everything

One chicken. So many roads.

FunkyForty | Funky Life style and Fashion

Funky Fashion & Travel Blog Made with Love

Style Splash


I'm Sick and So Are You

Observations on life beyond illness

One chicken. So many roads.

The Way I Sew It

One chicken. So many roads.

B.I. Redux

One chicken. So many roads.

Cup on the Bus

One chicken. So many roads.

idioglossia: the blog

Share yourself: problems, joys, secrets, ideas. We're listening.

Examining the Odd

literature, visual art, music and film

Think Stew

One chicken. So many roads.

Procrastinating Donkey

One chicken. So many roads.

Trainride Of The Enigmas

One chicken. So many roads.

Genial Misanthrope

One chicken. So many roads.


One chicken. So many roads.

The AC is On

One chicken. So many roads.

La Tejana

One chicken. So many roads.

Pearl, Why You Little...

One chicken. So many roads.

%d bloggers like this: