Invasion of the giant snails…

Pails of giant house eating African snails were recently taken into custody at LAX, where they had been labeled for consumption and shipped in pails.  Apparently, the snails are an environmental  hazard.  You can read the whole story here:  Link to article  

mirror.uk.news

This whole story is just begging for animation.

What do you call a group of house-eating snails? A swarm of snails?  Doesn’t swarm imply speed?  That doesn’t work then, does it?  A swaaarrrrrmmmmm of snails?  A body of snails?  A flock of snails?

According to Ask.com, you call a group of snails an escargatoire, rout or walk.  I love escargatoire-so artsy, so avante-garde…I might not mind telling people my house got eaten by a escargatoire of snails.  Or is that redundant.  Would you just say “My house got eaten by an escargatoire?”

If you are making a science fiction movie about house-eating snails, you might want to use “Walk of snails”.  Doesn’t that have the sound of a cheesy sci-fi horror flick?  If, however, your movie is more art house than documentary – then you definitely want to stick with “escargatoire”.  If you are making a documentary on house-eating snails, it might be best to use “rout of snails”, which sounds somewhat technical.  Hey, what’s the rout of 16?  Answer:  4 Snails.  Hahaha.  I crack myself up.

Okay kids, be careful out there.  Don’t pick up any hitch-hiking snails.

Chicken out

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  10 comments for “Invasion of the giant snails…

  1. July 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Wait now, what? Your house is being eaten by snails? Maybe you need to get to know their individual names, so you can have some restraint orders issued.

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  2. July 15, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    I'm going with a plodding of snails. And I want to know how they are eating your house.

    Like

  3. July 16, 2014 at 10:31 am

    Hi Jenny-no, i should have clarified that the first sentence is a link to an article about 56 giant snails being confiscated at LAX. I'm treating it very lightly, but apparently they are from Africa and a serious environmental threat. They can, over time, consume a house and lots of other scary things. The thought of a snail invasion struck my funny bone

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  4. July 16, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Hi Hilary, ooh, plodding is good. Much better than a pudding of snails, which I would never eat. They aren't eating my house yet. Thankfully, they were detained at the airport.

    Like

  5. July 16, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Better to eat the snails before they get you ! (I ate snails that big in Vietnam last year – sliced up- like steak)

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  6. July 16, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    Spread with vegemite?

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  7. July 18, 2014 at 12:48 am

    I'd probably call them something like an
    ewweeeklookhowmanyofthemtherearethey'refreakinghuge of snails. I read that they eat houses because the stucco has lots of calcium which they need to grow their shells, so they sort of convert your house into theirs.

    -Doug in Oakland

    Like

  8. July 18, 2014 at 2:47 am

    Hi Doug, so in theory, if an escargatoire of snails is eating your house you might try distracting them with a glass of milk? A nice cheddar?

    Like

  9. July 18, 2014 at 4:39 am

    That might work, but I think I'd be more comfortable with stronger measures if they were actually eating my house.
    Otters, perhaps.

    -Doug in Oakland

    Like

  10. July 18, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    Huh. I didn't know otters were a good source of calcium…

    Like

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