No, really, I could wait here all day. I got nowhere to be.
Actually, that’s not true, so I’ll start.
There’s a new reality show on Bravo called Game of Crowns. It’s like Tots in Tiaras except with boobs and husbands.
This show was filmed IN MY TOWN. And now I feel a little cheated because one of my consuming curiosities is how these shows are put together. We know there’s got to be a lot of editing going on, right? So how do they decide who gets to be the villain and who gets to be the victim, and how do they orchestrate that? And are the producers the biggest bullies of all?
I picture it going something like this:
Reality *: (to Production assistant A, who is having an in depth conversation with Production assistant B while both madly twiddle their thumbs through their text messages). Excuse me, may I have a glass of water, please?
Production assistant A: (to PA-B) Do you believe her, she is SUCH a bitch. Who does she think I am, an intern? She’s going down
Production assistant A: (to Reality *) Of course, I’ll find one of the INTERNS to get it for you. Because that’s what interns do, they fetch things, and I’m NOT an intern. I was an intern last week but then I got promoted. But no problem (wink/shrug), I’ll find an INTERN for you.
Production B: (to room at large) giggles wildly at own twitter message #realitybitches, and takes selfie of new bangs.
Production assistant A: (Texts intern) Her highness would like a glass of water
Intern: Ohhhhh No she didn’t. Who does she think she is?
Production Assistant A: OMG, I know. Maybe GOD?
Intern: God’s wife?
Production Assistant A: OMG LMFAO #bitchisgoingdown
Do you think it happens something like that? I think it might. I wish someone would write an in depth expose on reality television and, instead of focusing on why people watch it, focus on the process.
My lasting question, the one I ask myself every time I watch a particularly confrontational scene, is “Why in God’s name do people sign on for this?” Money? Fame? Cluelessness? What about you guys? Would you take a part in a reality show? Would you rather be the villain or the princess?
I wouldn’t be a reality *, but I would be an intern.
If anyone watches Hulu, there’s now a spoof on the housewives series. It’s horrifying and hilarious at the same time.