Fashion is a Two-Faced Bitch: Sunglasses

Sunglasses say a lot about a person, don’t they?  There’s the big diva sunglasses that take up half your face.  There’s the elegant retro Jackie O look, there’s sporty wrap arounds, hipster tinted, and then there’s the classic too-cool-for-my-school aviator style.

I like aviators.   They have style without appearing as though one is attempting to be stylish.  And I’m  super sneaky that way.  I don’t like to look as though I’ve put much of an effort in.  Most times I haven’t.  One need only take in the holy, maroon Columbia sweater, circa 2005, that I wear most days to intuit lack of style on my part.

Actually,  it’s not even how one looks in their sunglasses, but how one feels.  Putting on sunglasses is a little like putting on a disguise.  You hide part of your face and keep it for yourself.  There’s power in that.  And then you subconsciously project what you feel to the outside world, whether that’s a big, sexy, curvaceous man eater, a triathlete, or a rock-star.  I’ve seen this, I’m not kidding.  I’ve seen a woman sashay  a little sassier, an athlete prowl more gracefully, and an icognito rock-star’s insouciant saunter down the sidewalk.

Of course, you have to be careful with sunglasses, as with all things related to fashion.  You may be thinking and projecting Diva, but your sunglasses just may be shouting “Get out of my way, I’m mad and I’m drunk”.  Your tinted wrap-arounds may be smirking and whispering, “Thinks he’s Bono, What a tool!”  When I wear my aviators, I suspect they are broadcasting, “Highly delusional Chicken channeling Carrie Bradshaw, make way, coming through..”

Why all this talk about sunglasses?  Because I can’t find mine, dammit.

What do you like about your sun glasses.  How do they make you feel?

Chicken  out

  13 comments for “Fashion is a Two-Faced Bitch: Sunglasses

  1. August 1, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    You asked and so I will be totally honest. My sunglasses are prescription, and they make me feel old. Because I'd rather feel old than be hurtin' and smartin' from fallin' (because of not seein'). Sigh.

    I bet you are awesome in your aviators. Which is both good and bad – people won't know who's behind them, right? So you don't get credit for looking awesome. But still.


  2. August 1, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Now see, Jenny, I picture you in some small lensed, rose-tinted, hippy-style sunglasses. Don't they make those in prescription? We can't have you feelin' old or worse, beaking a hip:-) I'm not that awesome. I just play awesome on tv. Wait, I”m not Carrie. I keep forgetting.


  3. Anonymous
    August 1, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Classic Wayfarers. Always. Except mine are cheap knock-offs, of course. Because when I had real-deal Ray-Bans and lost them, I felt sick for days. So my sunglasses say “Too cheap to buy expensive sunglasses when they are sure to be lost or broken two or three times a year.” or maybe they say “Is that Bob Seger playing? Must. Strip. And. Dance. ” GG


  4. August 1, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    It's not Bob Seger, it's Don Henley and the Boys of Summer. They wrote a song just for you. They think you are hot regardless of what your sunglasses might be saying behind your back

    I can see you, your brown skin shining in the sun
    You got that hair slicked back and those Wayfarers on, baby
    I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
    After the boys of summer have gone


  5. August 2, 2014 at 4:37 am

    Sunglasses. Don't wear 'em myself (I wear regular glasses, and all the add-on options just seem too dorky for me, when I don't really even like wearing sunglasses) but it seems like if you do like 'em, you've got to have 'em.
    My friend Briana for instance:
    Me: Are you ready to go?
    B: I can't find my sunglasses.
    Me: It's night.
    B: So?

    -Doug in Oakland


  6. August 2, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Oh, I have glasses and have given up on looking cool in sunglasses. You make me want to write a post about this. You do. I just bought the huge old people's glasses at Walmart.


  7. August 2, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    Sounds like Briana has her priorities straight. I wonder what her sunglasses say about her?


  8. August 2, 2014 at 4:53 pm

    Betty. Don' t make me beg. Okay, I'll beg. Please Please write a post about your old people's glasses….


  9. Anonymous
    August 2, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    Well, yes, that one. But I was referencing the underwear dance scene in “Risky Business”. Except I later realized he wasn't wearing the wayfarers in that scene. And Don Henley is much sexier than a skinny teenage scientologist in tighty whiteys. So your pop culture reference just slapped the snot out of my pop culture reference.


  10. August 2, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    I have some that are totally Blingo (as is the fashion here in Texas), but I think my current faves are the wildly colored ones from Mexico. I do swipe my hub's Oakleys every now and then, and somehow I feel really strong when I wear them. I hope you find yours!


  11. August 3, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    I own eight pairs of spectacles and each one has that thing where they go dark in the sunshine. So, I have sunglasses every single time I step outside into the sun. And I like that. My daughter wears sunglasses because she says that they make her look savvier. I don't know that a 15 year old much needs that….


  12. August 4, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Hi Shelly, I'd like to see you wildly colored ones-I'll bet they speak to your individuality. And I'll bet you are also strong!


  13. August 4, 2014 at 10:43 am

    Hi Maria-so your glasses say, “I'm efficient and I come from a large family”? I like the idea of glasses that tint


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