I’m having a dinner party! I hope you’ll come. Please feel free to bring a guest or two, there’s plenty of room. I’ll seat you to my right, as all guests of honor should be. Mr.Hemingway is on your left. I hope you don’t mind the cigar smoke. And I think across from him we’ll seat Lucille Ball. Jerry Garcia can anchor the opposite end of the table. How does that sound? I’m not sure of the exact seating yet, but I know my friend GG will be there and I’m sure she’ll bring Carl Sagan. I think I’ll put him next to Maya Angelou. I hope Stephen King will accept. I’ll put him across from Carl and they can talk about shit weasels and other alien life forms. ‘Tis the season for all things spooky, after all. Next I’ll invite Muriel Pritchett and Macon Leary from Ann Tyler’s The Accidental Tourist. They’ve entertained me so often over the years, I’d be remiss in not returning the favor. In fact, I’ll invite the whole Leary clan. I’ll also be inviting a couple of the Real Housewives of New York to keep things lively. Hmmm let’s see. I think we’ll need another rock star-really, one can never have too many rock stars. Well, perhaps one can, but what the heck. How about Bruce Springsteen? Janis Joplin? Yes, she’ll do. I’m inviting Alice Waters and I hope she’ll bring an appetizer. Josephine Baker will definitely get an invite. I hope she doesn’t bring her leopard. I’m putting George Carlin in between those two, and Erica Jong just across the way. And let’s invite an artist, too, but not Van Gogh, this isn’t the right event for him. How about Andy Warhol, Georgia O’Keefe, or Louise Nevelson? Or all of them? And Annie Leibovitz? And Diane Keaton? Okay, with my guests plus whoever you bring, this is starting to sound like a night to remember!
So who are you bringing?
I’ll take the whole cast from Criminal Minds, past and present (but not future, just heard next season will include an actress I’m not crazy about) … and a couple of comedians – I’m thinking John Oliver and Rick Mercer. Is it potluck and should I BMOB?
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Hi Jenny-that will be handy is this turns out the be a murder mystery dinner! Don’t bring a thing except all your friends. This is a classy party. Everything first class. I hope you like cheese whiz and mini-hot dogs in pastry.
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I’m thinking Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker?
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Hi Doug, now you are talking! Maybe the whole vicious circle!
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GG? GG Allin (sp?) Oh, that WILL be a party.
Doug’s right. Please invite Oscar and Dorothy. 🙂
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Hi Pearl, no but bring her too! (Him?). GG is my real life buddy.
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Hey Pearl….about GG Allin…..if you bring him, maybe bring restraints? I hate to judge, but yeesh. We might as well invite Charlie Sheen.
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Lenny Bruce, for spice . . .
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Hi Goatman, I love spice. I had to look up Lenny Bruce. He can definitely come. And that reminded me of Leonard Cohen. And the Rat Pack.
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It sounds mah-velous. I would want to bring my dear Nora Ephron… and my dog. She’s tiny, doesn’t eat much, and is quite well-behaved. Plus she has a better wardrobe than I do.
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Hi Jayne, Nora is welcome at my table anytime! And bring your dog, Darling….I’m sure the housewives will have theirs.
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I was thinking H.L. Mencken, but he and Dorothy didn’t exactly get along. George Plimpton says he’s available though. Also, Tim Leary say’s he’s kind of bored, and wouldn’t mind going. I think he’s just looking for new contacts, but whatever.
Oh, and if Lenord Cohen is coming, for god’s sake don’t invite his brother, they still haven’t resolved that issue with Len’s wife….
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Hi Mike M. Timothy Leary is in. He can sit next to me! But far away from GG Allin who needs sedatives, probably, more than psychedelics. And a straitjacket possibly, but he’s Pearl’s responsibility. She can make that call. We’ll invite HL next time. George is in, Leonard’s brother is out. I’ve been hearing about this socialite named Nan Kempner. She sounds like fun.
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Funny you should mention Nan. She contributed to a pal’s project at Sloan-Kettering in NYC. She’s fine, I’d put an ashtray near her plate though.
I’d give Pearl some warning about restrictions though, there are rumors out there about her and gin, and cats…..
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All that I heard was make sure there are plenty of limes and take the cat’s keys. What did you hear?
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Wait, you had to look up Lenny Bruce??
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I can’t know, like, everybody, Mike!
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