Where Am I? How Did I Get Here…

Let’s see….you push this button, right? And then that one.  Whoa, that’s a big……that’s not where I meant to go.  Okay, press this link, and then that one….so far so good….ahhhh.  Here we are. At Chicken’s House.  Would you believe I was abducted by aliens?  And then went on a river cruise?  And then delivered the royal baby and built her brother a tree house, then consulted with The Donald on obtaining the milennial vote….

Anyways, it’s been exhausting.

Say.  You’re looking good.  No, I mean it.  I do.  You’ve lost weight?  New haircut?  It’s very flattering.

I’m here because I’m annoyed.  I know that’s not very nice, perhaps, after several months of no show, no call behavior, but I am what I am, and what I am is annoyed.

I’ve been trying to be all healthy, see, only eating whole foods, exercising, getting enough sleep, etc.  One of the foods I’ve come to rely on is nuts.  Nuts are high in protein, right?  They have “good fat”.  They aren’t really filling when a serving is less than a handful, but I’m told they are filling, so I’m patiently waiting for that to happen.

Today, after a long  day without a lot of food, I came home hungry and reached for the nuts.  Then I absent mindedly read the label.  Planter’s Peanuts, I’m disappointed in you.  I thought you were wholesome.  I thought I was eating  heart healthy dry roasted goodness.

I am, but I’m also eating wheat, gelatin, sugar, yeast, cornstarch, corn syrup and some kind of chemical that I can’t type here because I can’t find my good glasses and I can’t quite make out the spelling.  Damn.  I swear, they look just like peanuts.  I be bumming.  But at least Planters is required to list the ingredients in its product.  At least I can make an informed decision as to whether I want this product inside my body.  I call that fair enough.  Buyer beware, right?

What’s not fair is genetically altering foods and not having to be honest about it.  This week, HR 1599 passed the house.  This means that companies like Monsanto will not have to label their products that contain  GMOs.  You won’t know exactly what you are eating.  It still has to get through the Senate, so maybe there’s still hope.

It’s getting to the point where we all should be eating as little as possible or growing our own food.  I hate to be the yuppie-throwback-Whole Foods-shopping-food-snob in this circle, but I just want to know what the hell I’m putting in my  (and my child’s) body and what’s more, I think it’s my right to know.  I don’t believe companies should just be able to do whatever they want with food.  I do believe that what they do should be transparent.  I do believe that good food should be affordable and available to everyone.  I don’t feel the least bit sorry for McDonalds.  I cringe to think of the things I’ve eaten there, the meals I’ve fed my kids from there.  And not to pick on McDonald’s because they are not the only ones.  I’m looking at you, Burger King.  Wendy’s.  Yeah, even you SubWay.  Biggest Loser my Ass.  Your food is gross.  And not healthy.  And you shouldn’t be trying to pretend it is.

Have you heard of obesogens, by the way?  They are just as nasty as they sound.

Oh God, I have to go to bed now.  I’ve gone too far  and now I’m agitated.

But it was  great being here again.  I enjoyed our little visit.  I hope next week I’ll be back to writing about socks that talk and leaving the politics way back on the shelf in the back of my mind.  I’m sorry for my outburst. You really do look great.

Carry on.

My wayward son.


Chicken out

  10 comments for “Where Am I? How Did I Get Here…

  1. Anonymous
    July 31, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    So, like Clemens, the reports of your demise have been exaggerated, eh? Oh please, do continue with politics, or whatever your little wandering heart can come up with.

    I’m presently visiting in SoCal, so my posts may be scarce for a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 7, 2015 at 4:18 am

      Hi Mike. Nope.. You can’t keep a good chicken down. Well. Actually you can. You can cage them, slaughter them, throw their tiny bodies into a big machine and compress them into some pink goo that gets squirted out nugget shaped but that’s a story for another day. I’m not bitter. We all have to eat. I just hate to think of my beak getting included in that mess after all the thinks I’ve kissed with it. I mean, some kid is going to eat that, you know? And who knows where my feet have been. Besides me, I mean. Thanks for reading and commenting. . Enjoy your SoCal visit.


  2. Doug in Oakland
    July 31, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    YAY!! The Chicken is back!
    Here’s a Bizarro comic about GMOs…

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 7, 2015 at 4:19 am

      I love you Doug. You are the commenter that keeps on giving. Give that guy a monacle by the way. A really big one.


  3. Judith Blacquier
    August 1, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    always nice to hear from you, my little fine feathered friend !!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jenny_o
    August 2, 2015 at 4:30 am

    CHICKEN!!! You’ve been missed!!

    I tend not to worry about GMO foods at this stage of my life but it might be very different if I was still raising my kids. And I agree foods need to be clearly labelled so people can make good choices for themselves. It’s not that long ago we didn’t even have adequate nutrition labelling, for pete’s sake.

    Don’t be a stranger; y’ll come back, now, hear?

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 7, 2015 at 4:25 am

      JENNY O or is that your real name??? I know. I used to love this pressed meat stuff my father would buy. It had a vinegary only vaguely meat flavored taste. I’d put 2 slices between 2 slices of wonder bread, squirt on some yellow mustard and mannn….lunch was served. Followed by a coke and a Charleston Chew. But I was lucky because my parents were gardeners so all the bad stuff was fairly well balanced by good stuff and now I’m like a twist cone-half and half. Do you have twist cones in Canada? Otherwise this probably makes no sense. Twist cones are sort of like the Yin and the Yang of ice cream. No, that’s not right. That would imply that half the cone is negative which is siply not the case. Who can choose between two children? I love you equally vanilla and chocolate. Even though I don’t eat you any more (mostly) I still love you. And you too Jenny O.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. geo.
    August 5, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    I had never heard of obesogens. Now I find they are in nicotine and my shower curtain! I will never smoke in there again. It’s embarrassing to come out of the bathroom larger than when one goes in, and people notice. These are strange times for American metabolism and you are right to be agitated about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 7, 2015 at 4:27 am

      Hi Geo. I know! They are everywhere, there’s no escape. They are in the water. It’s dangerous out there. What do your extraterrestrial friends advise? You know that Taylor Swift song, Bad Blood? I heard that is totally about her relationship with obesogens.


Your turn...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

B.I. Redux

One chicken. So many roads.

Mind the Wanderings

One chicken. So many roads.

Hamlets & Hyperspace

Sci Fi & Fantasy Book Reviews

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

Delight In Your Garden

a gardener, foodie, reader and writer

Freethinkers Anonymous

It's another story.


Come for the laughs, stay for the lunacy

Patrick Tillett

One chicken. So many roads.

jenny's lark

the beauty of an ordinary life

Momentum of Joy

Spirituality, Reality, & Everything In Between

Object Relations

"A Word of Substance"


A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Wishbone Soup Cures Everything

One chicken. So many roads.

I'm Sick and So Are You

Observations on life with a rare disease

The Way I Sew It

One chicken. So many roads.

Cup on the Bus

One chicken. So many roads.

idioglossia: the blog

Be open, be free, a space for anything unsaid and unsayable.

Think Stew

One chicken. So many roads.

Procrastinating Donkey

One chicken. So many roads.


“Everyone who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that some spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe, one that is vastly superior to that of man.” - Albert Einstein

Trainride Of The Enigmas

One chicken. So many roads.

Genial Misanthrope

One chicken. So many roads.

The AC is On

One chicken. So many roads.

%d bloggers like this: