I’m chief cook and bottle washer here. This means I do all of the planning, shopping and preparation of meals as well as the cleaning up. This means that should another individual in the household clean out the dishwasher or carry a dish to the sink, they are not contributing to the household, they are “helping mom”.
Every once in awhile the burden feels too great. In other words, every once in awhile I get fed up.
Case in point, this Sunday morning vignette:
BigB: I’m going to boil myself some eggs.
Chicken: Thinks to self, “Well how nice for you” but says “I’ll make littleb some waffles.”
littleb: I don’t like homemade waffles.
Chicken: (in disbelief) You liked them yesterday!
littleb: No. I didn’t. They made my stomach hurt.
Chicken: Fine. You can make your own breakfast. How about that?
Chicken to BigB: He’s eleven. He should start making his own breakfast. We baby him too much!
BigB: (Takes big bite of English muffin. Looks scared)
…Later on that morning:
BigB: You can make waffles for me anytime. (Laughs because A. thinks he is so hilarious and B. thinks it is safe to comment now.)
Chicken: (not laughing because A. thinks he is so not funny at all and B. he is incorrect) You also can make me breakfast anytime, BigB. I never make breakfast without making it for everybody. You’re all like, “I’m going to boil myself some eggs!”
BigB: (Shrugs) Well, there were only two eggs left. (#exonerated).
Chicken: (emits evil laugh. Moves in for the kill) First of all, there’s another dozen eggs right out in the open where anyone who isn’t you would see them. Second of all, you thought there were only two eggs left and you appropriated both of them for yourself? (#micdrop)
BigB: I’m screwed.
Chicken: Yeah, you really stepped in it this time.
Two hours later….
BigB: Wanders into the kitchen just as I wipe down the last counter top. Makes himself lunch. Wanders back to office.
Chicken: Considers saying something. Decides against it. Instead, transports self to imaginary world where only cooks for self while hungry men cry and feel sorry about taking formerly generous meal preparer for granted.
Have a lovely Monday