Off Balance

I was on a roll for awhile. I was a rolling stone. There was no moss in sight. The train had left the station, there was no stopping me, the wheels were turning…

And it felt so good. I felt so alive, so on top of my game. I was getting everything done, waking up early, eating right, exercising, maintaining. I had achieved….balance.

Do you know how long I’ve been chasing that elusive state? Some people are born steady and consistent. They think things through, they maintain focus, they put one foot in front of the other. They make good choices. That was not me. I was born a little more slap dash, my drummer a little more offbeat. I chased what was of interest in the moment and that changed often. I lacked depth and consistency. I did not lack spontaneity.  I’ve heard it said that if you have curly hair you want straight hair, if you have straight hair you want curly hair, if you have no hair, you maybe want some hair, and if you have hair, maybe you shave your head. I didn’t want spontaneity. I wanted consistency. I craved Balance.

And I finally got there, at least I thought I had. But then one day, recently, okay Monday, I woke up and I didn’t feel like meditating. I did it anyways. At lunchtime I didn’t feel like walking but I did it anyways. I came home and I didn’t feel like making anything healthy for dinner but  I did anyways. I thought, tomorrow’s another day. Tomorrow, I’ll be back in my groove. My groovy balanced state of being. The next day I didn’t feel like meditating so I didn’t. I didn’t feel like walking so I didn’t. I came home and felt like eating ice cream so I did. Then I went to bed early because I thought, I’ve got to get over this, got to get back on track.

But I think that train may have left the station without me.

I’m not sure what tipped the scales out of whack. I know that it will come back because I’ve gotten quite good at chasing balance. In fact, haven’t you heard? Chasing balance is the new Balance. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try yoga.

How has your balance been or do you care? How do you maintain it or do you? Asking for a friend.

Chicken out

Here’s a good song on the subject:  Christine and the Queens: Tilted

 

 

  10 comments for “Off Balance

  1. jenny_o
    November 14, 2019 at 3:03 am

    My balance goes out of whack when I get too busy. Add that one extra thing into my life and – foosh, balance gone. Did you try to do too much? People aren’t made to do it all. That’s what I tell myself, anyway.

    Like

    • November 14, 2019 at 4:03 am

      Hi Jenny. I tell myself that also but then I don’t count myself in that population:-)

      Like

      • jenny_o
        November 14, 2019 at 6:29 pm

        Rookie mistake! lol

        Like

  2. Doug in Oakland
    November 14, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    My balance just got knocked out from under me again: Beth lost in court and we have to move by the first. It took me 23 minutes round trip to walk to the tennis court and back this morning, and I’m gonna try my best to get at least one round trip below 20 minutes before we have to leave.

    Like

    • jenny_o
      November 15, 2019 at 12:28 am

      Oh no, Doug – so sorry to hear this. Another move so soon? Will you have a place to go?

      Like

    • November 15, 2019 at 12:30 am

      Hi Doug, I’m sorry to hear that. I know you’ve been enjoying being where you are. What’s been happening?

      Like

      • Doug in Oakland
        November 15, 2019 at 5:34 am

        We knew this was a possibility when we moved in, as Beth is going through a divorce. I’m still glad we moved here, and perhaps the 3 1/2 (we have a cat) of us can find other living arrangements together, as we seem to get on well enough. We’ll see.

        Like

      • November 15, 2019 at 12:18 pm

        I hope so, Doug. I hope you land some place even better. Good luck.

        Like

  3. Joanne Noragon
    November 15, 2019 at 12:50 am

    I’ve disregarded balance, long since. Too much unbalance in my life, for ten years. Now, karma is another matter. There was a text this morning from a daughter I haven’t heard from in six months. She wants to come by for a visit before she has to go to another appointment. I wonder if I will be squeezed in for Thanksgiving; first time in ten years.

    Like

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