Question: Should I feel disappointed because I’ve gained 4 pounds in the last 4 weeks? Or should I feel grateful that I’ve only gained 4 pounds in the last 4 weeks?
Under the circumstances, I think the latter is a fair choice.
Exhibits A, B, C, D (just 4 of many, many exhibits. For example, Exhibit D was also exhibit G about 2 days later, so…you feel me?)
Everyone handles time differently. I assumed I would fill mine with yoga, meditation and running. That’s because I’ve always told myself that if I only had more time, I would spend it practicing yoga, meditation and running.
Well, I’ve had 4 weeks of nothing but time and, as it turns out, when I have time, I feel compelled to feed people, self included. I know there are others out there like me because I keep seeing the hashtag #sourdough. Reveal yourselves. I need your recipes.
Besides that, I’ve been feeling anxious. How about you guys? My husband is still working from home, we have insurance, my older children are working, and we can weather this situation for several months or more, if necessary. No one we know has been infected with Covid-19. We’re very lucky. We hear daily about the new number of cases and the rising death toll. We hear about war torn countries and refugees whose circumstances are, impossibly, even worse than they were two months ago. On television, we see the cars lined up for miles to get food for their families.
When I lay down at night after meandering through another pleasant day at home, the thoughts I’ve kept at bay push their way to the forefront: So many have died; others are sick or at high risk, or filled with dread because they don’t have enough to get by or their homes are not safe; so many have mental health issues to begin with, never mind the onslaught of a pandemic. How many people are alone in this? How are the kids? I feel anxious for all of these people. I feel anxious that our circumstances could change. I feel guilt, too, for being lucky and for hoping we stay that way; for avoiding risk and for enjoying this slower pace of life. Sleep never seems to come some nights.
How are you doing? How are you feeling?