Feeling Better About my Brows

A few years or maybe a decade ago a wrote a post about how Nora Ephron felt bad about her neck but I felt bad about my brows. In the time since that post, I continued to mourn my lack of facial hair. This year, I stopped whining and looked for solutions. If Richard Branson…

Lessons from Tolstoy

When I’m driving or walking I often think of things I’d like to talk over with you all. When the blank page is before me and I finally have the chance, I forget every last blasted thing. On January 17th, I had a thought, which, in a rare instance of recall and follow up, I …

Predatory Queso Consumption

Chipotle just started making queso. I love queso so I bought some yesterday, along with some tacos. I was disappointed at the size of the container. It was so small. When I got home, my family, not very saavy from a culinary perspective, eyed it suspiciously. I played it cool-no sudden moves. I busied myself…

Bomb Cyclones, Snow Hurricanes and Other Dramas

During the great storm of 1992, I encountered an intruder in my home. My husband was away. That’s the first thing. Secondly, the storm was touted as “historical” and “major” and “dangerous” and other scary words, the scariest of which were “Snow Hurricane”. My children were 6 and 3. We lived on Elm Street. We…

I Went Christmas Shopping and Survived

I went shopping yesterday. I needed some deer. Not real deer, just a couple small not-real reindeer, to round out my holiday decorating. As some of you know from my holiday sing-along post, circa 2014, I equate holiday shopping with the fifth circle of hell. This year, however, I was dressing up my fireplace mantle…

What’s in Your Kindle?

I had an urge to write about something, anything, that isn’t politics. That worries me in a way. I think the GOP’s most fervent wish is that the Resistance will calm the fuck down and go back to reality television.Then I reminded my self that I’m not the mastermind behind the Resistance. My 50 Twitter followers won’t miss me for a few hours.

Wanted. One Skinner Box. Two Lever Model.

I took a required psychology class in college and remember a lecture on B.F. Skinner, who introduced the theory of operant conditioning, proving his theory with a contraption now known as the Skinner Box. You put a hungry mouse in a Skinner box, which comes equipped with a lever, and in short order the mouse…

Chickens Out of Line

The line for a limited seating event offers a lesson in humanity and also explains why bouncers exist. BigB, littleb, Mac and I had taken a new ferry service to Newport for the day. We knew seating was tight, so we headed back to the landing an hour early to make sure we could get…

At the Bates Motel, I Expect an Early Check-in and No Messy Shower Scenes

The cable guy came to my house yesterday, requiring access to spaces that haven’t been touched by a human hand, not to mention a Swifter duster, since 1978. All that activity disrupted the local spider population, which sent a spokesman to complain and demand compensation.  Their eight-legged emissary was waiting for me in the shower…

My Brain Talks Like Al Pachino

I forgot what I wanted to write about today because I didn’t write it down when it came to me last night.  I didn’t write it down because it was coming to me so fast and so solid that I knew there was no way I’d forget it.  I always know there’s no way I’ll…