Butter Files: For the love of God, give that baby a pickle!

My father wants me to give the baby a pickle.  Inside my head, where he lives now, I can hear his voice. He’s been pestering me since we passed the pickle aisle. He’s a little insulted, frankly, that the baby hasn’t already been indoctrinated to these and other vinegary delights (he’s also a big fan of pickled eggs, pickled yellow beans…pretty much anything pickled, really).

All babies love pickles! he advises.  Sure they do, Dad.

My father was passionate about sharing his homemade pickles with anyone who would take a jar home but the young and defenseless were his favorite targets.  Leave him alone with your baby for more than a minute and you would return to a bewildered, screwed up little face, pickle juice running down her chin, while my father hummed innocently nearby, big grin on his face.  If you left your baby with Grandpa, that baby was getting a pickle.

While pondering 20 different strains of organically grown, hand crushed, breast fed coffee beans, It occurs to me that I am the grand parent now. That I could be the innocent hummer, the grinning prankster, the sharer of pickles.  I make my way back to aisle four.

Somewhere in my head, the baton passed, my father relaxes back into his La-Z-boy, puts his feet up, pops a top, and reaches for the remote.

Chicken out


Pickles. Check.

  12 comments for “Butter Files: For the love of God, give that baby a pickle!

  1. thesmittenimage
    December 2, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    That could have just as easily been my own dad. 🙂


    • December 2, 2014 at 11:28 pm

      That would make you my sister from another mister? Sort of? Fellow pickle lover?


  2. Doug in Oakland
    December 2, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    Cascadian Farms organic Kosher dills are very good, but make a caustic mess when you break an entire case of them in the back of your delivery truck.


    • December 2, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      HI Doug, what a damn shame. A whole case that no baby anywhere will ever get to taste.


  3. jenny_o
    December 3, 2014 at 12:08 am

    Just talking about pickles turns on those drool-producing taps at the back of my mouth …

    Yesh, pickelsh are yummy, even if babiesh don’t shink sho … slurp

    Glad to hear you’re honouring your dad like that!


    • December 3, 2014 at 1:33 am

      What’s your favorite kind of pickle, Jenny? My father’s specialty was mustard pickles. My personal favorites are bread and butter. Thanks:-)


      • jenny_o
        December 3, 2014 at 1:43 am

        Mustard beans are at the very very top, followed pretty closely by bread and butter. Mmm. Pickles. You were lucky to have a dad who made his own!


      • December 3, 2014 at 2:21 am

        Yes, you don’t realize until you move away from home how much you took for granted. Like access to home pickled items.


  4. dbs
    December 3, 2014 at 4:23 am

    I can’t imagine a world without pickles. You must do this.


  5. Pat
    December 11, 2014 at 7:12 am

    That was really good. I love memories about the nutty, funny and interesting things that happens in families. Your father sounds like a great character.


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