The Chicken Family: Sort of like The Partridge Family, but with less talent and more husbands

  I’ve told you stories about my family but I’ve never explained my family. This is because that’s complicated. But I’m feeling expansive tonight so what the heck, here goes. In short, it’s a big, messy, beautiful love story. Let’s ease into it with this also familiar story line… Here’s the story of a lovely…

Stuck: The Prequel to the Great Spider Massacre of 1992

The house on Elm Street, where I battled a giant spider during a snow hurricane, was old, square and brown. It had a big front porch and was close to my daughter’s school and all the places we liked to hang out. We loved the inside, which had several sets of French doors leading to…

Five Short of a Six Pack

The other morning littleb stopped me on the stairs.  “Mom, what’s this on my stomach? “, he asked, pulling up his shirt. “What’s what?” I asked? “That”, he said, pointing at an indentation near his rib cage. “Oh. That’s an ab”, I said. “I THOUGHT so!”, he beamed.  Then he ran upstairs to show his…

A Chicken, a Hot Dog, and an Oaky Chardonnay Walk Into a Radio Station….

I started, around mid-day, thinking about a glass of wine, as I tend to do on a typical Friday. An  oaky, buttery Chardonnay is my favorite. Add a side of reality television and a bag of chips and that’s a big Friday night. A reality smorgasbord of housewives, fixer uppers and restaurants you’d hesitate to…

My Brain Talks Like Al Pachino

I forgot what I wanted to write about today because I didn’t write it down when it came to me last night.  I didn’t write it down because it was coming to me so fast and so solid that I knew there was no way I’d forget it.  I always know there’s no way I’ll…

Open Letter to David Duchovny

Dear David Duchovny, I caught your interview on NPR last night.  The host discussed your new book, “Holy Cow”,  and I was like, wait, David Duchovny wrote a book? About Cows? Holy Cow! (Bet you haven’t heard that one.)  Listeners were invited to call in.  I would have been one of those callers, David Duchovny,…

Butter Files: For the love of God, give that baby a pickle!

My father wants me to give the baby a pickle.  Inside my head, where he lives now, I can hear his voice. He’s been pestering me since we passed the pickle aisle. He’s a little insulted, frankly, that the baby hasn’t already been indoctrinated to these and other vinegary delights (he’s also a big fan…

It’s all in the timing, friends

As life has grown more hectic, I’ve found comfort in schedules and routines.  They’ve helped me achieve a flow that makes me feel, at the end of the day, accomplished.  Over the years, as the number of responsibilities has grown I’ve allowed my left brain to take over the running of the ranch. Left brain’s…

Here in my car I feel safest of all

I  saw a commercial the other day  advertising a car with internet.  Do we really need another distraction?  Isn’t this a little like having a car that comes standard with a bartender?  When  do they picture us using this feature? I don’t want to share the road with people who are watching Hulu +. Why…

It’s the Little Things…

This morning I was flipping through an old Ladies Home Journal that I heisted from somewhere because yes, as a matter of fact, I do want to know how Miranda Lambert got that smoking hot new body.   I flipped to a page celebrating married couples and the sweet traditions they develop over the years…