Santa Maybe….

Santa maybe, get BigB to trim the tree
for me
Maybe even hang some lights, Santa Baby
Could you call him sometime maybe tonight?

Santa Maybe, could we talk about the little one too
It’s true
He’s bouncing off the walls around  here, Santa Maybe
Could we dose him with the whiskey this once?

Think of all the dishes I’ve rinsed
Think of all the Bravo television  I’ve missed
Next year I might be just as good
If you’ll send me a personal chef
.
Santa really, there’s one thing that you maybe could do
Could you
Send me thirteen elves on loan?  I will
Send them back to you next year

Santa Maybe, send Martha Stewart to my house
To bake
200 sugar cookies, no wait, that’s scary
Just send them down the chimney instead

Santa would you, wrap these presents for me
and then
Send them next day fed ex for free I will
Forever be your biggest fan

You could even clean my garage if you like
Maybe hold a garage sale while I read this book
I really do believe in you
I know you can get rid of all this junk

Santa Maybe, just one more little thing
The ring
The one around my bathtub is gross could you
Send Magic Mike to clean it tonight

I know this isn’t Magic Mike but “Matthew McConaughey dressed as a cowboy stripper”
didn’t really flow well

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  26 comments for “Santa Maybe….

  1. December 6, 2013 at 5:30 am

    Okay, all this post needs is a video of you singing it. After several tumblers of wine. Do we have to beg?

    Like

  2. December 6, 2013 at 5:52 am

    Funny you should mention it, I was hoping I could entice someone else into doing that for me. Maybe Pearl? She seems out going:-) How about you? I'll bet you have a lovely voice.

    Like

  3. December 6, 2013 at 6:14 am

    If you write it, you need to sing it!! It's a rule!! Okay it's a rule I just made up, but it should be a real rule!!

    And thanks anyway but I sound like Miss Piggy – on one of her extra bad days 🙂

    Like

  4. December 6, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    Ha ha. I just write him, I don't sing 'em. I sound like Kermit with laryngitis. But I want to hear it, too. Let's see. Think! Who do we know who's Eartha Marily Madonnaish who can sing?

    Like

  5. December 6, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    Very clever and cut. It does get hectic at this time of year.

    Like

  6. December 6, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Let me get this straight,
    Instead of Ho, Ho, Ho
    you are wanting to hear
    Oh right, oh right, oh right

    Like

  7. December 6, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    And now I've got THAT in my head. And it's AWESOME.

    I love every moment of this. You weirdo. 🙂

    Pearl

    Like

  8. December 6, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    Shared you on Facebook.

    Like

  9. December 6, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Excellent

    Like

  10. December 6, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    What a hoot. And I agree with Jenny.. you must post a video of you singing it. Or Pearl. Or you and Pearl. Yeah. Perhaps next year, maybe. 😉

    Like

  11. December 7, 2013 at 1:47 am

    SS I'm thinkin Oh right now Oh right now!

    Like

  12. December 7, 2013 at 2:04 am

    Thank you:-) Can you sing? In your prom dress?

    Like

  13. December 7, 2013 at 2:04 am

    Wait…why aren't WE friends on facebook. Lets be friends. Thanks so much

    Like

  14. December 7, 2013 at 2:37 am

    Only if you will be my producer:-)

    Like

  15. December 7, 2013 at 2:43 am

    AC, yes it sure does. I don't know how Santa does it but I want some of what his magic!

    Like

  16. December 7, 2013 at 2:44 am

    Thank you VS. Happy Birthday:-)

    Like

  17. December 11, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    Brilliant!!! Hilarious and brilliant.

    Like

  18. December 12, 2013 at 12:45 am

    Thanks Cheryl:-)

    Like

  19. December 16, 2013 at 5:51 am

    Best laugh I had all month! Added you to my blogroll.

    Like

  20. December 20, 2013 at 2:29 am

    Now that's the Christmas spirit!! LOL! You're a clever one, Ms. CC. I'll be thinking of you every time I hear that song now. Merry Christmas, my friend. 🙂

    Like

  21. December 20, 2013 at 6:43 am

    I don't want to admit this but I was singing it from the first delightful line to the last. Merry Christmas!

    Like

  22. December 21, 2013 at 1:01 am

    Thank you, Beach Bum. That's so nice:-)

    Like

  23. December 21, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Merry Christmas, Jayne, and thank you.

    Like

  24. December 21, 2013 at 1:03 am

    Geo, I picture you singing all the time. Singing and creating and laughing. That's the way I see you. Thank you.

    Like

  25. December 22, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    Seriously, you have the best lines: “…dose him with the whiskey this once.” Yea, I like you.

    Like

  26. January 1, 2014 at 5:43 am

    Hi Jocelyn, thank you. I like you, too. And whiskey. For the record, I've never dosed anyone underage. yet.

    Like

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